That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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