He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
