Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize