Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
