Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize