I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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