idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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