can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
