when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize