At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I understand Curling. That high.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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