New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
