How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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