When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
In America we eat man semen.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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