just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
