the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Boobs speak an international language.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
