btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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