Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't turn off my feet"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
