You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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