you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
