PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize