I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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