her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
