Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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