oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
