At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
