Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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