You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
