I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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