discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
