It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
