Im at strip club and am horny
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
