I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
