chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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