dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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