found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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