I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize