Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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