I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
