sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
