Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
