She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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