I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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