did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It was confusing and full of hummus
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
