I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
