His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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