i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize