no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
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I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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