i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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