Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize