Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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