I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
