I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
