Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
