Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
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He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
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