That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
