so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
