11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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