make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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